Here's a ridiculously killer album by THE BRAINBOMBS - OBEY. Yes, it totally slays but not everyone can stomach it. Puns intended. I wrote an essay about it once but then lost that effort somewhere amongst a maniac series of 50+ page documents named DOC5, DOC11, DOC69, DOC420, DOCffff, DOCHAHAA666, DOC.EATME, DOCYOURMOM, etc. and I can't even begin to wade through all that mess. I think I was onto something about how the absurdity of violence undermines its usual aims ((power, domination, control)) by destroying the sense of order in the world that violence *relies on* being present to disrupt in the first place. In the extreme, it neuters itself? Not sure. I just ran a google search for articles that might capture my sentiments better than how I've been able to formulate them so far--a common practice of mine I find useful--and I came across these articles that appealed: Violence & Power and Nietzsche & Violence. I'll read them later maybe. You do you. Big N. was a fav of mine in college for how he recognised form matters in philosophy, so I'm always curious what he's up to. Violence is mainly horrific, obviously, and I've been so lucky in life. However, humans are also fascinated by violence and we all have the capacity for it that we have to manage within ourselves.
I remember watching my first "faces of death" videos when the internet was brand new to me in the 90s, and I think violent content functions similarly to pornography in how it appeals to our desire to see something forbidden or maybe even strangely tantalising, sensual, intimate... erotic? The video I saw was a close-up one of a guy having his throat sawn open, rapidly transforming him from living being into an obscene, bloody PEZ dispenser corpse in seconds. For an 11 or 12 year old it was really something. Awful, yes. But intriguing. It was hard to watch, but I watched it multiple times and sought out other Sick Fuck content afterwards. Am I a psychopath? Probably not. I mean, I have psychopathic traits and so do you, since they're human traits after all. Impulsive and thrill seeking? Check. Narcissistic? Umm... I made a blog to celebrate myself. Callous? Kinda, but nah. I've been high up the alexithymia scale ((in common with psychopaths)) all my life so I can seem detached but I *do* have Big Feelings and plenty of empathy. The reason I bought a 500 pg book of collated research articles on psychopathy last year to function as a paperweight for other books I don't read was cos I was worried about my moral compass. I got curious about the concept of psychopathy and who we call 'psychopaths'(?) It's a label I find troubling for how it feels like a heavy one we use to other people and say we're fundamentally different, but I dunno. Certainly people called 'psychopaths' have done gruesome things, but so have 'non-psychopaths'. ::shrug:: I've never been interested in famous murderers or a follower of "true crime" stories. All I know is that I care about everyone, including psychos, pedophiles, etc... not *more* than their victims... but equally to.
Anyways, my conflicted reaction to witnessing violence from a safe distance as a kid seems fairly typical, if not universal. As I've gotten older I'm less inclined seek out content that depicts violence. My curiosity was sated long ago and it's distressing to see others suffering or being harmed; however, I understand how violence can be captivating. The way our culture celebrates it doesn't help. Michael Haneke explores our ambiguous relationship with violence in an interesting way in his films. For example, see Benny's Video and Funny Games. I've been evangelical about Funny Games ever since seeing it. Hard recommend M.H. generally. Goddamn, Seventh Continent is fucking devastating too, which means "I love it". I was also moved by a documentary called The Act of Killing that followed former Indonesian death-squad leaders confronting their actions years later. Dunno who made that one though. Anyways. This is a music and shitposting blog so you gotta hunt down film links yourself if you want, lol.
How to respond to how I feel about destructive, violent fantasies that intrude on my 'decent, ethical guy' thoughts and what is there to do about living in a world full of brutality and violence, if I'd rather it were otherwise? Dunno. Drive it all off a cliff to blow it up like the Brainbombs? Be more like Jesus? Play sports or engage in socially sanctioned forms of aggression, like organised fighting? I do love the contest between myself and another inherent in a fistfight. Every opponent I've faced has taught me something useful or revealed blind-spots to me. Yes, I want to stand up against harmful forms of violence and oppression--for sure. Non-violent communication is something I'm interested in too, since words are the most common weapons we use and it's tricky to wield them responsibly.
Personally, I've always known I run hot. Overall, it feels like a blessing to have a surplus of volatile energy, and channeling that into beneficial activity is all I aim to do. One reason I need to exert myself physically and/or dance is because throwing my body around with force feels like something also and it scratches the constant itch I have to violently break apart my 'constructed self'. Exhausting myself productively helps me not to do anything more stupid, violent, or destructive.
Here's an article I skimmed about evolution & violence: Brutish & Short
Looks like I got a bit sidetracked in my bloodlust above but the point of this post was to say how I've been intending for years to form a self-help group inspired by The Brainbombs' ((see also: BURNING HELL)) immaculate vibes of strangling your sister + demented trumpet farts + sick, grinding grooves that'll grate your face off, but I've been lazy.
If you like the Brainbombs and want to make a violent concept album with me, hmu. I'm specifically interested in police brutality and high-speed car chases, but I'm open to ideas.
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